2001-12-31 - 10:35 a.m.
I stopped being beatific a long time ago, I think. And now I'm just meandering. I guess beat is just rewritten nostalgia anyway. Who can ever maintain that kind mental attitude ? It's a theoretical impossibility.
I'm going away to college soon. I'm not terribly worried. I'm very good at apathy and it has served me well and I hope will continue to. I guess at some point I'll have to start caring, not just about stuff I want, but about everything I need to. I guess at some point it will become important for me to do all those things that denote being an adult, like being responsible and not skipping class to masturbate.
Maybe that's an idea. Maybe.
Maybe life isn't a great book or a good song. Maybe life isn't all about getting drunk and listening to music and having sex and destroying everything.
I don't know why I keep saying maybe, it's obvious life isn't any of those things. Life is a compromise.
That's something to think about.
But for now, I think I'll elect not to think at all.
